So it's day 89 in our move to Ottawa. Over the course of these one 100 days my goal has been to be completely honest with the ups and downs of taking this step of faith. I've come to realize that writing about the process is as much therapy for myself as it may be for you.
I have to admit that today is one of those down days. Although a lot of amazing things have happened thus far, there are great pressures that arise now and then that test your faith, strength and character. And yes, there are tears as well. There are four things that are coming to mind right now as I think about our time in Ottawa. First, the process my parents went through when they immigrated to Canada from Barbados. I know there were some tears in those early years and I can see why. Second, the process that immigrants go through when they migrate to a new land. I at least have friends here in Ottawa, but when people migrate from one country to another they usually don't know anybody or sometimes don't have the comfort of a religious body to be a part of. I'm also thinking about Abraham and Sarah who migrated to their land of promise by faith. How difficult it must've been to leave everything you know as comfortable for a new land. Lastly, I'm thinking about the Europeans and British loyalists who left everything to migrate here in the 1800-1900's. Right now I'm reading "Stand On Guard" by Faytene Kryskow and I'm learning about the missionaries who left Europe to come to this new nation because of a personal mission from God.
Assessing Your Expectations
I've realized through my move to Ottawa that you always needed to assess your expectations. This is a recommended practice in marriage, but it's needed in life. Today I had to assess my expectations in moving to Ottawa. To be honest I expected everything to be easy. I expected to find a job within the first month in Ottawa. I expected to have no financial problems. I expected utopia. When you think of the Promise Land you think of lush gardens, abundance, and stability, but before you settle there are battles to fight; battles of
faith. This morning my wife said that she never expected to be disappointed in coming to Ottawa since we knew this was our Promise Land, but I've discovered that where ever there are expectations, especially unassessed expectations, you're bound to have disappoinment in life. The key is how you handle disappointment.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
A few days ago I was encouraged by the story of Amanda Lindhout, a Canadian journalist held captive in Somalia for 15 months (http://www.amandalindhout.com/2009/08/canadian-journalists-year-in-hell.html). She told the story of being tortured and spending the last few months in a dark room in solitary confinement and how her capturers asked her family for a $1 million ransom thinking that her family was rich (though they weren't). She explained that what kept her sane was thinking about one day being back in Vancouver.
When I heard this story it reminded me of how I sometimes feel mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Don't get me wrong, I usually feel great and upbeat, but there are those odd times when the pressures of life weigh down on you. Honestly, like Amanda Lindhout, some times our situations seems so dire and never ending. Some times we feel confined in a small, dark and lonely place, and the only way to stay sane is to think about the light at the end of the tunnel. Some times it feels like your situation gets worse before it gets better. I was thinking about Amanda and how everyday she would probably get up thinking, "Will this ever end? Will I ever be free?" She would probably see and taste the day that she would be released, but it would seem so far away. That's how life seems if we could be honest. I mentioned all of this to God when I thought about how I was feeling and how similar mental, emotional and spiritual bondage is to physical bondage through Amanda's story. As I prayed this the Lord spoke to my heart and said, "Like Amanda's parents I've paid the ransom." Wow. He was reminding of what Jesus did for all of us on the cross. It really made sense. As a Father, 2009 years ago he was paying the ransom for all of us to be free. So as I some times visit this solitary, dark and confining place I remember that my Father paid the ransom for me to be free and that soon (and very soon) the door of freedom will swing right open.
Remember, Your Father paid the ransom for your release!
Kevin Bourne
Entrepreneur. Minister. Administrator.
www.businesschurchpolitics.ca
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