Ottawa Living: Day 109- "Money does grow on trees"

Hello Canada,

Day 100 has come and gone and life in Ottawa continues.  Since my last update on my new life in Ottawa I'm encouraged even more to be as transparent as possible.  I'm learning daily that the more honest you are is the less weight you feel on your conscience.  I'm on a personal quest to be as transparent as possible; it'll be a journey.  Some people are untactful and blunt under the guise of being truthful, honest and transparent and they end up hurting other people's feelings.  These same people who say they're "real" are great at sharing the truth about about other people's lives to make them look small, but they'll rarely share the truth about their own lives to make themselves look small so other people will learn from their experience.  A lot of people who are "real" aren't really real at all.

Finding a Church

Over the past week I've been trying to determine what church would be our "home church" in Ottawa.  Tomorrow my wife and I are having lunch with the pastor of the church we've been visiting and I wanted to have a firm conviction of where we belong before meeting with him.  In fact that was my prayer- Lord, before we meet with this pastor let me know if this is where we belong.  I never knew how this prayer would be answered.

Three Sundays ago my wife and I were in a bad position financially, again.  Originally we thought that when my wife got the job on Parliament Hill we'd be set, but not so.  On this particular Sunday we had no money for food or gas; what a bummer.  My wife was getting paid in three days so we'd be completely fine then, but in the mean time we were short.  We went to church on the limited amount of gas we had in our car and then went to the young adults Christmas Party for our church.  Because we had no gas in our car and no money we had to sit in a nearby mall from 1:30pm to 6:00pm waiting for the party to start.  We knew that when we'd arrived we'd have to ask someone for assistance and it was a humbling moment.  A had to tell you this started out being one of the most depressing days I'd had in a long time.

We had enough money to buy a bagel from a coffee shop which my wife and I shared.  Keep in mind my wife is pregnant; talk about pressure.  She eventually got hungry again and we had just enough money in our bank account to buy her a bag of chips.  Two things went through my mind as we sat in the mall in this limiting and humbling situation. First, how much we take having money and food for granted.  I watched people eat their burgers and take out $20 bills to pay for food and asked myself how many times I was the one with the money and the food and someone else in the food court looked at me in hunger.  I saw the injustice of standing in front of a counter in the coffee shop with loads of food behind it and I couldn't get access to it because I didn't have enough money.  For a day I got to experience what the poor go through everyday.

There's a dynamic out there called "the working poor".  They are teachers, customer service reps, and admin assistants who look great, who have a job to go to every day, but who are struggling to stay afloat due to a number of circumstances.  The deceiving thing about the working poor is that they don't look poor so people don't know they're suffering.  This leads to another dynamic I call "the worshipping poor".  These are people who go to church every Sunday looking good in their suits, but who go home to empty refridgerators and cupboards.  But this isn't as bad as the dynamic I call "the ministering poor".  These are people who are in leadership in the church who look good and look spiritual but they have no money in their pockets or food at home.  This is one of the worst dynamics because these people feel the pressure of needing to look like they have it all together so they can minister to other people who are in the same situations as them.  Then when people want to know why nothing is changing in their lives when you pray, they don't know it's because you need prayer for the same thing.  These are real pressures.  These are pressures I dealt with.

The other thing that went through my mind was, "This is why we should give thanks when we do have food in front of us."

The Lesson

So here's the lesson.  We ended up going to the young adults party and at the end I humbled myself and told the associate pastor about our situation.  Without any questions he replied that he would take us to the gas station to fill up our car and then he'd take us to the grocery store.  His wife interjected that he should get us the "good stuff" and not be cheap; she encouraged him to get my wife the same stuff he bought her when she was pregnant.  They didn't ask me if I was a member or if I was tithing; they just loved on us.  These people barely knew us; I'd only spoken to them one one occasion a month before, but they just loved us.

So the three of us went to the gas station and the pastor got out of the car to pump the gas for us.  He said, "It would be my honour to serve you" so I let him pump the gas.  We then went over to the supermarket and he bought us a $100 grocery card.  He shared about how him and his wife migrated to British Columbia once and they went through the same thing.

This day left me completely overwhelmed.  Earlier that day at church the lead pastor came up to me and said that we needed to go out for coffee together.  He asked me if I had his cell phone number, which I didn't, so he gave it to me.  I barely knew this man but he wanted to spend time with me.  On top of this the pastor's wife was inviting all of the women from the congregation to her house for a spa day.  Can you believe that?  All of this and the congregation isn't even that small.  These aren't things I was used to.  This was love and it was something I've been looking for in the church for a long time. 

I have to admit that over the years I had lost faith in the church and was quite angry about it.  I stopped seeing the use of the local church.  I didn't realize it until a few people stopped to love me; it was below the surface.  I've seen churches where the pastor is too busy to meet with you; where if you get into a difficult situation financially getting help is like pulling teeth even if you've given faithfully for years.  That night I remembered thinking that I would do anything to help this church because they took the time to help my family.  They washed my feet figuratively speaking.  I once learned that a church should focus on fulfilling its vision because once vision is fulfilled it takes care of the needs of the people, but I've seen the opposite.  When you love on and invest in people they will do anything for you.  If you take care of the people's needs as a leader, they will take care of you when you have a need. "If you will be a servant to this people today, and will serve them and grant them their petition, and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever." 1 Kings 12:7.

God takes care of his children

That depressing day ended up being one of the best days I've had since coming to Ottawa (and it was probably better than many days I had before the move) because of the love I felt from my church.  After that day my wife and I had another disappointment which produced some more tears, but we've noticed a pattern.  Every time we have a great disappointment it usually turns into something good either that same day or in the next few days.  With every disappointment and tear we've grown and matured, so that now when we see those disappointments we know that if we hold on for a few hours or days it'll turn around for good.

Late last week God spoke to our hearts and said, "Every time you have a need just ask me and I'll give you what you need because I love you."  I told my wife that we needed to get to the place where if any financial demands arose our first reaction wouldn't be to overreact but to just ask God and move on. 

Dealing with life's pressures

A few days ago I felt more financial pressure.  Our car was long overdue for a semi-annual check, our tires need to be rotated, and we were about to drive to Toronto, we had no money to have lunch with our pastor, we needed winter clothes and accessories because Ottawa's getting colder, we needed some groceries to last us until we left for Toronto, and we wanted money to buy gifts for our families.

This past Saturday an older lady at work needed help cleaning her house; she ended up putting a cheque in our hands.  That money didn't last long because we needed to get our car fixed and we needed groceries.  But what about the other long list of needs?  The pressure started to mount again.

Today my wife's boss gave my wife a bonus for Christmas and my co-worker gave me a card today with a cheque for $300 because she knew I wasn't getting paid as an intern.  On top of that the lady who we helped clean her house told us that after we left her house she went to a funeral where she sat next to a millionaire. She told this person what we had done for her earlier that morning and she was so touched that she gave our friend $20 to give us.  By the end of today we had enough money for everything we needed. 

I don't share these things to gain sympathy; right now our needs are completely taken care of.  I'm sharing my life to demonstrate that through the ups and downs, when you take a step of faith with God, he is faithful and in the end things will work out.  Maybe not in the way that you think, but if you wait and have faith God will come through.  If you're in a hard place where you can't pay your bills, eat or take care of your family, I just want to tell you that God loves you.  You don't have to do anything to earn his love.  He cares already.  Just have faith in him and in the end things will work out.

This is my life in Ottawa.

Kevin Bourne
Entrepreneur. Minister. Administrator.

www.businesschurchpolitics.ca